Moms of littles, let’s be realistic. Really, you think you can keep up with the volunteering, the hobbies, the dinners with friends, the blogging, but something’s gotta give. As I write this, I have my 7 month old playing grabbing my shirt, pulling my arm away from the keyboard, and my 3 year old is whining to open a bag, or something… I can’t quite make out what she wants because of the whining. So, I’ll be back.
Back, hours later. Sound familiar? We have to be realistic. We can’t keep thinking that we’re going to be in tip top shape with meals planned and laundry done, and everything else. We just…
Back over a week later. I don’t know what that sentence was supposed to be now. Hmm. Alhamdulilah, Hubby has started watching the littles while I go to a coffee shop for a couple hours each Saturday morning. I am incredibly grateful.
This is life right now. Our kids are not interrupting our life. Our idea of life might be interrupting our parenting, though. We want to be more than “just a mom,” but would more do our kids want from us? They are thrilled with us being “just a mom.” We look up to people who have dedicated their lives to their work, but yet we don’t look at parenthood the same way? That’s not fair.
Of course, how can I talk when I aim to maintain a blog, volunteer at homeschool groups, and wish to take online classes? I don’t have it all figured out, but this is a reminder for myself first and foremost, before I remind anyone else. Let me repeat, my kids are not interrupting my life. My idea of life might be interrupting them, though.
It really is just about that mental shift. Rather than fitting in parenting in between my (usually self-imposed) tasks, my tasks fit in between my parenting. There will be years upon years where my kids will need little from me, in sha Allah, and I can’t rush it. I have to focus on the here and now. Focus on them, because they need me. They didn’t ask to be here. I wanted them and chose to have kids. Even for my two “surprise” children, I dreamt of what their childhood would be like. I surely did not dream of shooing them away while I sat at a computer. They deserve better than that.
So, to the mamas just like me who are trying to fit it all in, and find themselves at the computer more often than they’d like, close the laptop, shut down, whatever you need to do. Put it away and play with your kids. Let the blog go down to two posts a week, if that’s what your kids need. Let the Facebook notifications pile up. Don’t address the virtual before you address the reality.
The kids are not an interruption.
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Paula says
So so true! We totally undervalue motherhood @those feminists, and Hollywood@ you are right, it all starts with a mental shift. There is a season for everything! It helps me to look at some of God’s creations whose purpose is just to ensure continuity of the species, at least in appearance. The preservation of our humanity and our deen is a great and nobel task. Famous last words… “My ummah, those who follow me, will they be strong to carry on after I die?” We were chosen to be today’s flag bearers… May we be strong.
Shannen Espelien says
What’s funny is the mental shift can be a really hard thing to maintain. It takes constant work. In sha Allah we’ll all be strong!
Paula says
Have you seen this blog?
http://www.handsfreemama.com/
Shannen Espelien says
I hadn’t until now. Thank you for showing it to me! I added it to my Bloglovin’ feed. đ