I remember some friends of mine talking about their pregnancies and saying so confidently that they are done having kids. They never plan to get pregnant again. I didn’t really understand how they could be so sure. How could they deny the possibility of another human life in their family?
Now I get it.
I’ve said since the beginning of this pregnancy that this is my last. It started out mostly for my husband’s sake (he likes a generally quiet home), and then it was because I just wanted to move forward in our homeschool, and our life, and stop cycling through the baby stage. Now, I’m physically certain I don’t want to get pregnant again. Now, I get it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for this new addition to our family, in sha Allah, and I’ve been excited since the day we found out I was pregnant. Alhamdulilah, I’m still quite healthy, and I still maintain a low-risk pregnancy. It’s the debilitating exhaustion that I experience when I’ve been pregnant with all my children that I can’t keep doing. Unless we suddenly get a surge of income that would cover the cost of a maid, we need me up and running. Eating at a restaurant because I don’t have it in me to cook dinner gets way too expensive for a family of five! Yes, the crock pot is my #1 tool, and it works awesome. Still, that requires meal planning, and even that takes it out of me. And our laundry? Goodness! Let’s just not go there.
Let’s say we had the money for a maid, nanny, and/or cook. Still, the aches and pains that have come with pregnancy is just more than I care to bare. I can feel that my ligaments have been loose since I was about five months along, so any type of turning, twisting, or stretching feels uncomfortable. Even getting groceries out of the cart so I can pay for them is a test of how much I can take before it becomes a day-long pain. It’s all too familiar to when I was laid up in a wheelchair for a week before I had Amatullah. Or the debilitating sciatica I had with Aamina. I don’t want to get there again.
In other news, we are back to being out of the house four out of five days a week. It seems to really creep up on us, and I forget how much work it is just to pick Kira up from her dad’s house on Thursday and Friday mornings (he picks her up in the afternoons. Mornings work better, so it’s the best option we have right now.). Alhamdulilah, things are looking good for keeping up with high school work and Kira keeping on track with her goals. Life as busy as it is just reminds me, this is the last baby, in sha Allah.