Is parenting just about providing opportunities for your kids? For something special, we go somewhere and do something. When did every day life become so insignificant?
It’s not insignificant to our kids. Even spouse relationships thrive better when their every day life is nurtured just as much as date night, if not more. It’s vitally important to nurture that every day relationship with our kids, even when comes at the expense of added opportunities and experiences. What good is driving our kids to an art class, or making sure they get to their sports tournament in time, if they never have time to connect with you, get to know you, and love you for your multi-faceted personality?
It’s taken me a while to get here. It’s taken a while for me to understand that signing my daughter up for every cool program does not equate with good parenting. She remembers how I make her feel, and when I take time to focus on her specifically. Spending hundreds of dollars on classes around the city don’t show her love and appreciation. Game night is a far better alternative as it gives that one-on-one attention.
Likewise, signing myself up for classes, volunteer work, and business ideas does not make me a better wife and mother. This season in life should be focused on my family. I only get it once. In terms of time, life is a straight line, heading to our end, and you never get a moment back. You can never make up a prayer during the time it was prescribed. You can never take back a hurtful word. You can never spend time with your family after you have left them for other commitments. How many weekends did I lose with my family because I wanted to volunteer my time with the community? Alhamdulilah, it was all for a good cause, but the weekends became known for how much time I would spend with my loved ones, usually hours counted on one, maybe two, hands. That is not how I want to be remembered, and my kids definitely do not feel my love when I am gone.
It’s time to clear the schedule. It’s time to sign up for less and be present more. It’s time to change who gets my time, the my kids’ time. Will those people cry at our death? If not, then why are we spending so much time with them? Why are we giving them such a valuable commodity? Something we can never get back. Time.
Great reminder mashAllah
Shannen Espelien says
Jazak Allah khair!